DEN to MCI

There’s something about flying. Every time I get on a plane, it’s like I’ve been given permission to let my mind breathe.

Traveling can be a love-hate thing for me. I tend to think that I just need time for myself, without distractions, without having to think about anything or one but myself. I need that time to talk with the Lord. To figure things out and see where I’m at and planning on going. Considering I don’t travel all that often, I should probably find an alternative to my recovery getaways.

I’m usually exhausted when I begin traveling. The middle halves of trips are why I go in the first place.

Sometimes I enjoy silence more than a normal person, and at times, that scares me. I know I could never be alone in my life. But I suppose there is always a light that shines through the cracks that are never filled in your life.  I thrive off of people’s approval and their encouragement. I guess that’s why I always try to be an encouragement to others, because really, that’s what I want for myself….always wanting things for myself. Ha. I just need someone willing to sit in the silence with me, to encourage me, and someone who approves of me even when there are clearly things wrong with me.

The end of the trip is bittersweet. I’m exhausted by this point., but I’m so ready to come home. Ready to be in the comfortable, familiar settings. Ready to be back in his arms and physically feeling his unfathomed amount of love surround me. Every step that I’ve taken with him has been an unexpected breath. It’s nothing I planned on and nothing that I thought I would allow myself to have and/or experience at this point in my life. It’s so beautiful. And like I have said….My heart is so very thankful for that. What a blessing that I am constantly humbled by. . .you always wonder where that kind of love comes from, and undoubtedly it is from Christ.

Some Pics from the trip.

We stayed with out sweet friend Mia in Denver.

We stayed with out sweet friend Mia in Denver

Then we made our way to Portland and stayed with my wonderful friend Stephanie.
The Oregon coast was my favorite part of the whole trip.

The Oregon coast was my favorite part of the whole trip.

Beautiful hiking trails

Beautiful hiking trails

Ashley came down from Seattle to see me!

Ashley came down from Seattle to see me!

We also got to see our friends Amos and Parker.

We also got to see our friends Amos and Parker.

Great trip. Great friends.  But it feels so wonderful to be home.

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I need daylight and starbucks.

For some reason, I just now realized how great podcasts are.

I’ve been listening to sermons by Erwin McManus.  Look up his podcasts.  Be inspired to move.

“If your greatest dream became your life, would the world become a better place.”

That is all for now.

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Saturday, March 21, 2009-9:22am

The trip  has begun.  Alex and I left at 5:3oam this morning for the Kansas City Airport only to be called 30 minutes outside of KC with our flight cancellation.  The next flight is not until 7:38pm.  Super.

Alex made a phone call and we are now leaving at 4:18pm.  Thank the Lord for her “professional” voice. A.K.A.- I am going to sound like a bitch, but it’s going to get the job done voice.

Sitting at The Roasterie in Brookside, just relaxing and sipping some coffee. I often forget how much I enjoy mornings. There’s something calming about being up when the rest of the world sleeps.

Just a little time to spare.

Just a little time to spare.

Until Denver.

Pull back the shield between us.

2nd time through...and still just as good.

2nd time through...and still just as good.

I love this book.  I think it’s because it’s a story. It’s not my normal read where I take notes in my journal and think about it for weeks at a time.  I can be comfortable with this book and it’s just what I have been needing these last few weeks.

School has been crazy.  Sometimes I feel like everything I work for just seems to disappoint me when I don’t live up to my crazy expectations. There’s a point about every three weeks that I ask myself, “why am I working so hard only to see myself fail?”  You get in these modes of self-pity and just complete defeat.  I hate hearing people complain. HATE it. While I know I’ve done plenty of it myself, I refuse to let people know that sometimes I  just want to tell the world  and everyone in it, to suck it.  School does that to me sometimes.  I hate my own human nature to complain about my life like no one else understands.

Flipping through my journal. Good reminders.

Flipping through my journal. Good reminders.

I am completely drained.  Every outlet has poured out its share; how I wish that were at least half true. I feel empty, but what have I given?  A few quotes that I came across. . .

“What we lack is the courage to find ourselves tucked into the suffering of God as a means of solidarity and identification but also as a possible hopefulness of being part of a solution to that suffering.

-Christopher Leuretz.

“…The foolishness of our weaknesses are places for God to reveal wholeness.”